Adventures and Heartache

I am struggling to feel normal again after this last weekend. Some parts of the weekend were so fun that I am still smiling over them and some parts of the weekend were so horrible that I am still cringing. I have been struggling to get back into my routine and instead have been crawling home to immediately put on my pajamas. Not to mention R brought home a cough with us so he has been struggling too. I have been avoiding him like the plague. For a man who is normally never sick it is always disturbing to see him not feel well. Poor guy!

But before I go into the weekends adventures, lets talk work outs

I nailed every single one of my lunch time workouts last week. All five days…

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I struggled with cardio last week for some reason. I felt like my breathing was off and I sweated a little harder than normal. It was not fun. But I pushed myself to do my minimum of 10 minutes. Like I have said before, I tell myself to do at least 10 minutes and if I need to stop after that I can. Most days I pushed till 15 minutes and one day I pushed till 20 minutes. So I got the cardio in but I wasn’t happy about it. For the most part I ate at home and stuck to my healthy eating choices as well. The results were 3 pounds lost! It was nice to step on the scale and actually see a loss again. I knew I wanted to get in exercise all last week because I had a feeling this weekend would throw off my work outs a bit and I was right.

We had plans to go to southern California for our holiday weekend. R had mediation for a modification in the custody of his son and we normally spend holiday weekends visiting his son anyways because it is an extra day off of work. We had decided to leave Sunday and give ourselves Saturday at home to get stuff done. But R had another surprise up his sleeve instead. Instead of taking Saturday to be at home, he got me packed early, got the pet sitter for an extra day and drove me over the Nevada state line to a very amazing surprise.

VEGAS!

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Because I didn’t have a lot of warning I wasn’t able to do a lot of planning plus we were only there for a night, but I still had the most amazing time. He found a beautiful room with a view of the strip right next door to Paris Las Vegas because I am obsessed with the Eiffel Tower and going to Paris one day.

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He took me to the most amazing dinner right in the Eiffel tower where we watched the Bellagio Fountains go off every 15 minutes or so. We walked the strip and got the most amazing daiquiris. I definitely got my steps in that evening. So many stairs and walking. We still didn’t cover all of the strip either. We went to bed at 3 a.m. and of course woke up at 9 a.m. to start getting packed up to go. 3 a.m. bed times are for young people damn it, not people in their 30’s.

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It was truly the most amazing experience. There were so many people there dressed up to their best and some were barely dressed at all. There was just so much to see and do. I have already started my list for the next visit.

The next day we were on limited time because we needed to get to Southern California but we made one last stop at the Hoover Dam before we went. Well we didn’t stop but we drove over it and that was pretty amazing. Next time I am dying to go inside and do a tour. The whole entire time we drove over the dam R just kept yelling about Transformers. Such a goof!

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It was truly a wonderful experience! One I wish we could have taken my step son on but maybe next time.

By the time we arrived in Southern California we were pooped. We went to bed early and woke up ready to hang out with the kiddo. I had a pretty bad feeling about this trip because of how his ex had started acting since we filed the modification paperwork. She was never easy to get along with but she has been slowly getting really bad over the last month or so. R’s son has been really upset about not being able to get more contact with his father since she has been not answering her phone during their scheduled video chats and basically just treating R like an enemy instead of like a co-parent. Anyways, R’s son has been starting to throw these fits that we have never witnessed firsthand because he has always been so good with us. His son had a cough, had been run pretty hard that weekend by his mom and was pretty exhausted. So it was inevitable that he would have a huge tantrum.

I know that his mother deals with them differently but since she refuses to discuss them with us like we have asked her too now for WEEKS, we had to deal with it in the best way we know how. I don’t believe in spanking and R is coming around. So he let me handle it and I did what worked for me when I was a kid, I let him calm down. I ignored him flat out. I let him scream and be belligerent but I refused to acknowledge any of it. I calmly just told him that I would listen when he calmed down but I will not listen when he is yelling or screaming. It worked, I was a bit shocked too, but he calmed down when he realized he wasn’t going to get my attention by doing it. He came out, R held him while he finished quieting down and then we all cuddled and hung out in our pajamas watching movies. Later on we discussed it, we talked about alternative ways to express himself, we talked about why he felt the need to scream, we talked about it all and really he admitted that he was tired and didn’t feel good. It left R and I shaken though. It was our first hard parenting moment together. We did joke around afterwards though because when R’s son was yelling at us he kept lumping me into things like, you guys hate me, you guys wish I was never born, you guys don’t let me do what I want. I felt like a real parent right there at that moment! Anyways, after he got some down time he was much better and the rest of the visit had no issues at all.

I was proud of R and myself for handling that tough moment with grace and calmness.

Mediation was the next day and we took the kiddo to school. I can’t tell you the bright smile on this kids face when he was walking in with his dad. He really loves being with his father so darn much. Mediation on the other hand was a circus. His ex made it seem like R was this absentee father even though he has been busting his ass to be in his sons life for years now with her blocking him every time he tries. It broke my heart to see R walk out of there just confused on why she continues to act this way. Her own son is begging to spend more time with his father. This is a child who loves his dad and a dad who really loves his son. I am really just ready for the drama she creates to be over. It is all all game to her. I thought my almost two year divorce was hard, it was a walk in the park compared to this custody hearing. The worst is she has yet again cut all phone contact even though she agreed in mediation to 4 days a week at 6:30 p.m. R has been calling and calling, she has been ignoring. She agreed to the mediator to do co-parenting courses and to communicate from now on through a court email program, R signed up for both, she has yet to do either. I can’t imagine how R is feeling dealing with her but I know that I am just ready for this entire mess to be over with. I can’t imagine after the judge looks at all our proof of her lying, manipulating and emotional harmful behavior saying that R can’t have more time with his son. But family law is so weird I just am hoping for the best!

So as you can see, there was some great parts of this weekend but there was some really emotionally tough moments too. I haven’t worked out this week. I have barely been surviving this week. I know I will go right back to working out after I get a weekend to get back into the swing of things but for now I am just trying to survive the rest of today. Last night I put myself into bed super early and I felt decent this morning but still not completely my old self again. But I know eventually I will snap out of it and start up my routine of taking care of animals, riding horses and laughing at my goofy R!

So, how was your holiday weekend?

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