I meant to post something last Friday regarding not posting for a week. I had also meant to write a few posts and put them on schedules to post periodically while I was gone. But best laid plans and all that, my week before my vacation was downright HECTIC. Between work and home, the stress, the mishaps and everything else, I was pretty sure I was going to have a major melt down before we could even get on the plane last Saturday. But I survived with the help of some pretty awesome people, I had a great time and I promise to do a blog post of a review of my cruise today or tomorrow. In the mean time, life is settling down again. Luckily I had a 3 day weekend so I could get ALL the loads of laundry done (and there was a LOT), I cleaned up the whole house, spent lots of time cuddling with my loves, responded to personal emails and just got some down time before heading back to work. I still need to sort through about 300 vacation photos and order some prints to make a scrapbook, but that will happen in due time.
I was pretty shocked when I stepped on the scale on Friday and didn’t gain any vacation weight. I didn’t lose but I didn’t gain. It was a relief. Especially since I ate deserts, didn’t count calories and just enjoyed myself thoroughly without any worries about clean eating. But I also ate fresh fruit for breakfast, stuck to mostly low carb foods and was very active during our cruise as well. I just naturally gravitated towards things that normally make me feel good. It was nice not coming home to having 10 pounds of vacation weight to worry about.
Before the cruise I had burnt out. I was exhausted with constantly over obsessing about calories and carbohydrates. The more research I did on how to eat, the more contradicting information I came up with. I was over worried about how many calories I was taking in, did I eat enough or not enough, did I work out enough. It was becoming a constant burden for me and losing weight was no longer fun. So I stopped even trying. I didn’t do anything for weeks. Now I know I am repeating myself if you read my Motivation blog I posted recently. So bear with me. Anyways, before I left for vacation, while I was packing, I stumbled upon two pairs of adorable jeans I had bought a few months ago in the midst of losing weight. I had finally fit back into a size 18 and I was so excited. I bought a pair of boyfriend jeans and a pair of skinny jeans. Neither one fit anymore. I was back down to 2 pairs of jeans that fit mostly comfortably without a massive muffin top. That was a shocker and definitely a wake up to the fact that I had to find a way to NOT feel so burnt out anymore.
During the cruise I got away from my phone, from social media, from counting calories, from constant daily worries about workouts and I got some time to myself. I spent some time with my cousin and got a different view point. I got to read next to a pool on a sunny afternoon (in the middle of the day, WHAT?!). I got to sit on our balcony while the sun was setting and just think. I took naps in the middle of the afternoon. I snuggled with the husband. I stared up at a sky full of stars while sitting in a warm hot tub. I laughed till I almost peed myself at comedy shows.With all of this, eventually my thoughts were able to gather together and I came to some pretty clear decisions about this journey of mine. I knew I couldn’t continue to feel burnt out but I also knew I couldn’t continue down the obsessive path I had been on. I was ready to start kicking PCOS’s booty again. BUT I was going to do it MY WAY.
The weather is cooler again and I have been missing my evening run/walks. It felt GREAT to see how much stronger I got each time I got out there and there is just something about exercising in fresh air that I love. But the heat eventually drove me in as it normally does and I took up swimming instead. We had a LONG summer last year and not much cold weather. But FINALLY we are having a cooler fall. So I suspended my gym membership and decided to get back outside. I will miss swimming but I really loved training for The Color Run last year. So I specifically chose a program as a guideline that started off with a week of walking first. I know that I need to build my endurance slowly back up. I will be tweaking the program as I need to, I just wanted something as a basis to at least work from.