I love this idea of writing a letter to my 21 year old self. Grab the button and join in! If only I really could go back in time and force my 21 year old self to read this darn thing, but alas she is head strong and stubborn so she wouldn’t have listened anyways.
Hey hun.. let’s talk..
First thing is first, stop dying your hair random colors. Red was not a good idea, black was even worse and the brown weird funky color will take FOREVER to grow out. Leave it blonde hun, no seriously leave it, you might think it is boring but it turns out that EVERYONE wants to be blonde, okay maybe not everyone but a lot of people do.
This is the year you will hit the highest weight ever and you will cry, no I am not kidding, you will cry really hard and then shove some more crappy food in your face. You will wish you still fit in those cute 18 size jeans that used to make you feel fat. You will avoid mirrors. You will eat junk food to make yourself feel better. Put the taco, nachos, pizza and ice cream in the trash. Walk away, far far away because in the next year you will be diagnosed with PCOS which you will eventually learn makes you insulin resistant and causes all kinds of fun health issues. You will be fine, just put down the damn chocolate bar. Instead take a walk with the Red dog (who will survive all your craziness to become the best dog ever) and eat a few vegetables. Oh while your at it, take an iron pill for your anemia and research your health condition sooner stupid. Trust me you will thank me later on when your struggling with sore ankles, weight loss and high blood pressure.
DO NOT move to Oregon. It was a bad bad idea. Keep your job, stay in California and be patient. Eventually after 3 years of colleges you will land your dream job and love what you do. Do it sooner. Get your booty back to school. Trust your first choice in careers, massage school just doesn’t work out which you should have predicted since you hate touching people, let alone naked people. But you will make a good friend there so massage school wasn’t all a waste I guess. Either way moving to Oregon will bite you in the booty for years to come so just stay put.
Quit smoking now, like right now, put it out, do not argue just put it out. In the future that nasty habit will be nearly impossible to quit. You will struggle with quitting smoking for a long time so do it now while your still young.
Take your time getting married. Invite your family to your wedding instead of running off to some court house like an idiot. Marriage is complicated but you will eventually get the hang of being a wife. Be easy on the guy, he will become your best friend but you will have to go through a whole bunch of crap while you both grow up. Don’t push him so hard, he loves you, learn to talk and not yell, let him be angry if he wants and walk away. Laugh with him because he will be the one holding your hand when the world feels a little scary and you will realize one day that you didn’t need to make so many years of your marriage so hard for each other. It is okay to love and be loved, you will learn that eventually.
You will lose your uncle soon, hug him one last time before he moves to another state. Do not argue with your sister during the flight to the funeral, you both are stressed but it will only stress your mother out more. Hug your mother tight while she cries, she will need that hug more than anything else.
Your sister will eventually become your best friend so stop fighting with her so much.
Listen to your mother, turns out she is super smart and knows a whole bunch.
Travel more. Explore the world.
Learn to cook sooner, it will cut down on how much you eat out over the years.
Stop putting yourself in debt.
You actually do like asparagus, just add some Parmesan cheese on those bad boys and throw them in the oven.
Be patient with yourself because you will make a whole lot of bad decisions before you learn to make the right ones.
Don’t worry about having kids so much because you are freaked out about being diagnosed with something that makes you infertile, yes you will struggle to have kids but if you just spend the next few years getting healthy it won’t take as long as it is taking now. You will watch your friends have kids and you will cry some nights over it but it will be okay, just concentrate on you and getting healthy.
Above all, love yourself, forgive the past, don’t worry so much and trust your instincts!
Love older wiser smarter ME!