Finding a place to belong…

Looking on Facebook yesterday made it very clear to me that I no longer really fit in with most of my childhood friends. I watched them wish each other happy mother’s day and gush about their marvelous day with their children, while I cleaned up puppy puke and was reminded that I am 29 years old without a single two legged child. My mood got nasty and I become snappish. I even deleted my Facebook application off my phone in an attempt to quit torturing myself trying to relate to friends that no longer barely give me the time of day. They give me a passing glance, maybe every once in awhile like my statuses but for the most part they don’t have much to say to me anymore because I can’t discuss diaper brands and the best books to read to my little one before bed. It is like watching the popular click in high school all over again, I desperately want to belong but I just don’t right now.

The husband got home from work, gave me a cheerful smile and we headed to Sprouts. Where I couldn’t find any good priced asparagus or leeks. Gr. By 2:00 p.m. I was hot, cranky and feeling pretty spiteful. So we went swimming. We spent an hour swimming from one end of the pool to the other. By the time we started heading home my attitude had shifted slightly.

After we got home we decided to spend some time outside cleaning up around our yard.

(LOTS of tomatoes)

(HUGE artichoke, eggplant and jalapeno)

(A sweet pepper is growing)

(The eggplant has a BUD)
After that we played ball with the dogs. We laughed at the silly puppy jumping and stealing the ball from the Red dog. We played keep away and taught the puppy to take the ball from me and bring to the husband. Too cute. She really is a great dog.
After that the husband cleaned out the trunk while I turned on the sprinkler out front and did some front porch sitting with the dogs.
Soon the grumbling of our stomachs sent us inside to start dinner. The husband has been begging to make his Thai tacos for years, literally years but I was never experimental with food before till now. So because I couldn’t find asparagus or leeks for asparagus soup, we made Thai tacos. He started his Thai sauce while I started the whole wheat tortillas from scratch.
I picked a super simple recipe from 100 days of real food.
and they were AMAZING. 
I will never eat store bought tortillas willingly again. These were perfect, tasted amazing and were fairly easy to make. The only thing I might have done wrong was used a little too much oil to fry them. (On a side note, I really need a griddle for pancakes and tortillas.) Then came the Thai taco part.
They might look strange but they were so very freaking good. I ate 3 and was so full I could barely walk. Something about frying tortillas from scratch, swimming, spending time in the pool and being surrounded by my lovies really improved my attitude. I was laughing and smiling by the time we started cleaning up the house. 
It got me thinking. I belong here, in this house, in this moment, doing what I am doing. 
I belong to a cat who completely cracks me up.

I belong to 2 dogs who are always willing to dish out the cuddles on a Friday night.
I belong to a career that I absolutely love. I belong to Sunday evenings spent making delicious dinners. I belong to the gym and learning to run. I belong to camping in the summer. I belong to Saturday runs with my mom. I belong to 2 kids that call me Auntie. I belong to a sister who is my favorite shoulder to cry on. I belong to my journey, even if it isn’t the same as all my friends, even if it means feeling a little left out. I am right where I need to be, doing what I need to do, surrounded by some pretty amazing people who don’t leave me out of their lives due to my no kid status.  
Here I was searching for a place to belong and I had one already. Silly me. 

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2 thoughts on “Finding a place to belong…

  1. Loved the post, and it made me not feel too bad about deleting my fb account, it was of no use to me anymore, besides torture. Good for you for knowing that your just as good if not better than them. #cysters unite

  2. Thank you!! Don't feel bad for doing something that makes you feel better. Having pcos is tough and it can be even harder when we are surrounded by insensitive people! We cysters have to stick together 😉

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