November…

Fish and green beans is the blandest dinner EVER.

I had to spice it up with apple slices with cheese and a little bit of hot chocolate with peppermint creamer. 
So it is November, which means I am setting my monthly goals and making up my exercise schedule which incorporates a lot of yoga, the walk to run program, Zumba and a ballot boot camp thing for fun on Saturdays. As well as making grocery shopping lists and menu plans for the next two weeks. This menus new recipes, egg mcmuffins (made with all egg) and spanakopita.
My Novembers goals are:
  • To start reducing my carbs again and the carbs I do allow myself to eat have to be simple or homemade;
  • To start my walk to run program, practice yoga and actually attend the Zumba class on Thursdays;
  • To stay a non smoker;
  • To establish a good bed time routine, resulting in more sleep at night.
Thinking of not smoking, day 2 1/2 or something along those lines. The husband and I are locked into a battle of wills starting last night, I feel he disrespects me by throwing his stuff everywhere making messes, he thinks I am too controlling, in other words, an argument that we have had one too many times over the last 8 years and is resulting in added stress/drama during my quitting time. Out of stress and frustration (and also because I was tired of standing there arguing) I slipped and smoked a butt. Okay maybe 2 butts. It maybe equaled a quarter of a cigarette by the time I was done. But a slip is just a slip, I am reminding myself it won’t mean I will hunt down all the change in the house and buy a pack. 
I am in the crappy phase of quitting. It is the phase where you cough and have a sore throat. I have been mass drinking cranberry tea to help clean out the crap faster in hopes it gets me through the withdrawals faster. My lymph nodes feel swollen and I am just generally in the miserable phase. I have a lot of thoughts of needing them, I keep feeling the anxiety build on and keep thinking I can’t handle it without the nicotine. Stressful situations keep freaking me out. I am jumpy and not 100% sure that I can handle the stress without filling my body with toxins, but that is just the withdrawals talking. It is a hard battle, I just hope this time I win. 
I am so ready for the weekend, how about you?

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