Hello my name is
exhausted whiny butt melodramatic overwhelmed. At least for now it is. It shifts and changes with my mood. Sometimes I am Mrs. Confident or Mrs. Moody pants (thanks to my husband for that nickname) and sometimes it is just plain old Mrs. Me.
You know what happens when I get overwhelmed? I start drinking energy drinks and eating carbs. My dark circles starting getting dark circles and when my Mom simply asks how I am doing, I send a HUGE text with a LONG rant. Luckily she understands and texts me back with lots of advice. Maybe I shouldn’t have drank that Rockstar, I am feeling slightly twitchy and still tired.
Work is busy because I have taken on a lot of new responsibilities and I have only a 3 day work week next week, so I am trying to get EVERYTHING done, so it won’t get too crazy the week after.
School is just down right hectic because I am two weeks away from the end of my second to last quarter. The homework is being just heaped on. My fellow paralegal students and I often whine on our breaks about how much homework we have, how exhausted we are and how we wish there wasn’t one more quarter left.
Want to know a secret though?
I will miss school. Don’t get me wrong, I am very exhausted, everyday I fantasize about sleeping for a week straight just to feel rested. But I have also been panicking lately. What will I do with my spare time? All that lovely, amazing, spare time.
I usually have 16 hour days. I wake up at 6:45 a.m. and don’t stop running till 11:00 p.m. I only see my house at night and on the weekends. My animals have taken to attacking me when I walk in the door because well they don’t see me that often.
My general ed classes were a walk in the park compared to the legal classes I am currently battling through. I would take my old massage therapy courses again over these legal courses. They aren’t easy. Each assignment challenges me and I fight to keep my GPA up. I am doing it, but it is very time consuming.
So what will happen when I have nights off? Weekends? No homework due? No class to attend?
It literally blows my mind. I could actually spend a couple hours knitting each night, I could run after work instead of before work, I could go to bed early every night, eat dinner at a decent time, read books for fun again, plan a vacation, walk the dogs, clean the house on a daily basis and have dinner dates with friends again. I could actually spend more time working on losing weight.
BUT I am also going to miss my fellow students. In my first year general classes, we never had the same student more then a few times in our classes, so making friends was hard. But our second year legal courses, the students we start with are the students we stay with throughout the whole year. We have bonded. We have gotten to know each other. We joke, have fun and listen to each other rant. We help each other out. I will miss being in class with them three nights a week.
Mostly though, I am concerned with getting bored. After spending most of your days running between work and school, could you imagine just working? I never sit still for long.
After the joy of learning a new job and being able to get things done in a reasonable amount of time plus get 8 hours of sleep wears off, I am pretty sure I will be itching for the next adventure.
I just don’t know what that is yet. Is it moving? Having a baby? Starting my BA?
BUT for now, I am just plain old overwhelmed. I am trying to take each day as they come. Right now I am trying to remember that taking care of me is just as important as getting my homework done, getting an A in the next exam, completing my at work to do list, taking care of my family and being there for my friends.
Me. I am important too.
That is why I do Tai Chi on Wednesdays, Women’s Circle once a month, plan camping trips for the husbands birthday and get pedicures with my Mom. It is why I make myself get up early to run. It is why I eat healthy. It is why I won’t allow myself to drink that second Rockstar no matter how much I am tempted. Because through out all the madness, if I don’t take care of me, I won’t be able to keep doing what I do.
How do you take care of yourself? How do you keep motivated when you are overwhelmed? Starting any new adventures or ending one?