Sleepless thoughts…

I am running on day two of no sleep. I am usually an amazing sleeper, well at least I have been since I started working full time and attending college at night. Long 16 hour days have me begging to go to bed and I pass out the minute my head hits the pillow. Not for the last two nights though.

Maybe it is the 97 degree weather? Or because I am starting to get excited about all the fun things I have planned in the next couple of months? Or maybe it is because I am on day 7 of quitting smoking (which causes lack of sleep)?

All that I know is, day one was doable, day two of no sleep, no bueno. I am tempted to take a nap during my lunch, but time seems to moving VERY slowly today.

So in yesterdays post, I mentioned that we now have a window unit instead of central A/C. Well the husband, tired of being hot, got all handy man on me last night while I was sitting in the bedroom, avoiding the hot kitchen and reading a magazine, wallowing in hot self pity. He moved the window unit from the living room to the bedroom. Hm, why didn’t I think of that? We still need to buy one, because lets be honest here, are we really going to move it every time we want to sit in the living room or sleep at night? NO!

So I figured, okay we are good, I will sleep. Have I ever told you how loud a window unit is? Super loud, like sitting next to a jet plane as it takes off loud. But that wasn’t the problem.

I just tossed and turned exactly like the night before that. My head full of all these thoughts: a three bedroom house, a dishwasher, granite counters, hardwood floors, central a/c, front loading washer/dryer, a big green back yard, with a porch and a big bathroom with a standing shower and big tub. Paying off all my debt, every single dime of it. Getting my college degree. Working a damn good job and feeling good about what I do. Having amazing benefits. Moving away from this city. Hiking. Losing weight. Having a baby. Cabo vacation.

It is almost like I run down my list of my REALLY wants and just daydream about them. Tossing and turning. Not sleeping.

I know what my mom would say, “One step at a time little duck, I never had any of that stuff in my twenties, one step at a time, first, get your college degree.”

I am always in a hurry. Never enjoying today, or tomorrow, just thinking about what I don’t have and want.

How do you stop this? I really just want to stay focused in the moment. I don’t want to fantasize about my dream house because someday I will own it, but for now I am a self supporting students who can afford a window unit and has to bribe my husband into doing the dishes. I am only in my late twenties, shouldn’t I be concentrating on enjoying getting a degree? Enjoy building a career? Learning to run?

These are the demons I wrestle with when I am not sleeping.

My eyes are a burning and I still haven’t been able to get up to do my running in the mornings. ARGH!

Who thinks we should have a mandatory nap on Fridays for two hours?

How do you stay in the moment? Any suggestions?

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2 thoughts on “Sleepless thoughts…

  1. I was exactly the same. The list…it would keep me up every night. The worst for me was the weight loss calendar that I'd run through my head. Tracking how many pounds I could lose per week until I hit goal. Ugh. Until I found melatonin. Miracle! Our daughters pediatrician had suggested it for her sleeplessness, and I thought I'd give it a shot too. I sleep south better now. I also added magnesium recently and it has three benefits – sleep, mood and regularity. Between the two, sleeping better. Also, if I wake up in the middle of the night for my daughter I can fall right back to sleep! Good luck, and I hope you get some good sleep tonight! (found you through Mama L's blog – not some random creepy person).

  2. Welcome to my blog.. new visitors and comments are always welcome!!!

    Wow, I will have to do some research on melatonin, sounds amazing. I managed to get some extra sleep over the weekend, which greatly helped but it would be great to have something for those nights that I just can't sleep.

    Thank you!!

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