Is it almost May already? May is currently stressing me out, I stayed up for hours last night, exhausted, thinking about EVERYTHING that was happening in the beginning of May. It literally felt like it was crushing me. So much stress. It will be a very hard month for me, so it will truly test my quitting smoking skills.
I am so tired I couldn’t even tell you what my ticker says up above. Day 7? Day 8? Today is going to be one of those days where I sit at my desk and have to mental shake myself awake every few minutes to keep the brain moving. After really working hard to get 8 hours of sleep every night last week, my body is not happy with this 4 hours of crap sleep last night. It is times like this I really wish I could be one of those people that gets through the time toughs by smiling and thinking, “it will eventually work itself out.” But I am not. I am one of those people that worry, chewing it over and over and over, working myself up into a stress frenzy, keeping myself up at night. It is exhausting honestly. I am going to really work hard on meditating, envisioning how I want the month to go, thinking of the positive aspects and calming my hectic mind this whole month.
But right now I am more excited to talk about something else. This weekends kick butt exercising I did. My last blog (you can read here) talked about the show Heavy and how it kind of made me realize I wasn’t putting my all into my workouts. Well I can honestly say now, I put my all into this weekends workouts.
Saturday was a run day. The husband and I took the dogs on our warm up walk and then dropped them at home. It is hard work to wrangle a puppy who doesn’t know how to walk on a leash yet and a big dog that pulls because we have never been able to leash train her (well mannered in everything she does but how she walks on a leash). Then we ran, 60 seconds with 90 seconds of walking in between. My husband didn’t let me get away with running only 30 seconds, which I have been known to do, he pushed and pushed me till I wanted to wrap my mp3 player cord around his neck. But in the end it felt great to push that hard. After that we did a little boxing, squats and push ups against the wall. My arms hurt, my legs hurt and I was covered in sweat. But I survived.
Sunday we decided to ride our bikes on the new trail we had found, the American River Bike trail. It is this long bike path that loads of professional bikers train on. It has lots of hills and it is paved. So we loaded up the bikes, parked near the area we live in and started out. Of course we chose the hottest day this weekend to do it. The high being in the 90’s that day. It was a beautiful ride, lots of greenery, wild animals, other bikers and the river was always close by. We took lots of little water breaks and two sit down to rest breaks.
I was promised an Icee if I made it all the way to the city (the path literally connects our area with downtown). So I pushed hard and made it, even though I was hot, sweaty and sore. My reward, one Coke Icee, (which I was too tired to photograph) and a 30 minute sit down break.
I was so determined to get to downtown that I didn’t put two and two together, I would have to ride all the way back. That thought sent dread coursing through me the moment I realized we needed to get home at some point, was I really strong enough to do it? Didn’t I just give it my all to get here? Should we call a friend to come pick us up?
My husband loves riding his bike and is very good at doing it for long periods of time. Me, well not so much, especially when there are hills.
I got about 10 minutes into the return trip, went uphill and broke down. I stopped riding, sat down on a bench and told my husband I wasn’t going any further. He of course talked me into moving again, even though it took some cussing on my part and pep talking on his part. I won’t lie, it hurt, each mile ticked off took pushing on my part. There were a few times I got off my bike and walked for 5 minutes. I might have even almost cried once or twice. I cussed a LOT. I got eaten by mosquitoes, slightly sun burnt and sweated a gallon. And even through all of this, even though I was cranky, my husband just kept telling my how beautiful I was, how amazing I was, yelling out the miles that ticked by (they are written on the pavement, how handy) and slapping me high five. He even pushed both our bikes when I needed to walk for a few minutes to stretch out my legs.
Last night I earned my cold shower, warm bath and BBQ ribs, zucchini and spinach salad. I also plopped on the couch and didn’t move until bed time. Couldn’t move, every move hurt. I was so freaking sore. I am still very sore. Cringing every time I need to get up from my desk.
BUT I racked up a total of 17 miles. Which might not sound like much to you hardcore bikers, but before I got the flu for 4 weeks, my record was 8 miles on the bike. 17 miles seems AMAZING to me!
So I felt good about pushing so hard this weekend, I went beyond my comfort, ignored that voice that usually stops me and proved to myself that I am capable of going further/harder than I have been.
Maybe if I work out like crazy all of May I won’t feel the stress. More likely I will be too exhausted and sore. Today is rest and ice. Tomorrow I am going to attempt to get up before work and either run or bike ride or do a Pilate’s tape. I am going to try to workout 6 days a week now, instead of 3-4. Really kick my weight loss into over haul. Plus I have my doctors appointment in a week and a half to talk about Metformin, thyroid and iron levels.
Oh and I stepped on the scale this morning, I lost 3 pounds after yesterdays bike ride. Totally worth it!
Ever push yourself beyond what you thought you could?